As I Wait

Today I've been invited for my first guest appearance at SUM. Here is a preview of my testimony:


In January 2007, I found myself, for the first time ever, frustrated that I could not share my faith with my husband.

While we were dating and in our early years of marriage, my husband had always shown such support of my faith. We had talked about how I would teach our children about Jesus. Yet when our daughter was born, things changed.

I felt alone. The more my daughter grew, the greater my sense of God’s presence became. But I couldn’t share my joy with my husband. I wanted to dedicate our daughter to the Lord at the church I had been visiting, but I was afraid how they’d react when they heard that I, a devout Christian since age 2, had married a nonbeliever. I feared they would see me as blatantly disobedient to God’s warning in the Bible not to be “unequally yoked,” when that wasn’t totally the case. When I was dating my then-boyfriend, I was constantly warned by my church youth leaders about being “unequally yoked” and I was fully aware of what the Bible had to say about marrying a nonbeliever, but yet I knew I was seeking God’s will and felt God’s calling on my boyfriend’s life. Yes, I was in love, but I was also at the peak of my hunger and passion for God. And I knew this man loved me. He protected me. And it seemed that every prayer that I had for my family and my life was coming to fruition through him. I asked others to pray that God would guide me. I knew that God had a purpose for me. I tried to break up with him multiple times because of my faith, but it was always impossible beyond even my desire.
It wasn’t until one day in 2000 when I went to the park that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I had God’s blessing to marry my husband. I begged like a little girl to her daddy for something she couldn't have. I cried out for God to show himself to my boyfriend - because I wanted him badly. I told God that I didn't want to marry anyone else. I then found my hands being led to Scriptures completely pertinent to my situation. And I heard His voice say to me, "Vanessa, be at peace” and “If you really want [him] - trust me."

So I did… or so I thought.
I felt the Lord’s presence on our wedding day and I felt His hand forming our daughter inside of me when I was pregnant.

So as I lay crying in our family room, I asked God what went wrong, why I was suddenly feeling the weight of my yoke, that He would provide someone from my visiting church who would accept my decision to marry my husband in the same way I felt His acceptance, and to change my husband’s heart.

When I pulled myself together, I realized that there had to be someone out there who was blessed like me with a wonderful husband who provided for, cared for, and loved her as any woman would dream of – and with whom she shared everything with – except her faith.
That’s when I began searching the Internet and I found Lynn’s Spiritually Unequal Marriage website. I was comforted by her testimony and e-mailed her to let her know how her site had touched me. I was amazed that she wrote me back and offered to lift my family up in prayer for seven days and invited me to join an online group, 1Peter3Living, where other women were also praying for their husband’s salvation.

It was in those seven days that God led me...

Where did God take me? Please visit me at SUM to find out! =-)

ADDENDUM: After re-reading my post, I began to feel that those who don't know me might view my husband in a negative light and those who know me well may feel sorry for me. This was not my intention. Although we've gone through some bumps along the way, God has brought us through in our marriage. My man is awesome and I'm amazed at how currently delivering us to a new level. That was my bottom line. =-)